Choices, Deaths, Friendships, Growing Up, and Gods
by Katerine-M
Summary: Supernatural, with alternate universes. "As you become more clear about who you really are, you'll be better able to decide what is best for you - the first time around." - Oprah Winfrey
1. Author's Notes

**Author's Notes**

**Disclaimer: Everybody you recognize is... not mine.**

Ok, this story is going to require a little bit of explanation. :)

This is kind of a mesh of two _completely_ different plot bunnies that have been clunking around in my head for weeks now:

_Plot Bunny 1:_ This is just one of those AU's where Reid doesn't join the BAU but attracts its attention in a bad way. I'd seen several of those, but hadn't seen any where Reid's becoming a killer actually fit, given that the only real deviation from canon is just that he _didn't_ join the BAU. This is my attempt to write a serial-killer Reid that actually fits his canon background and personality, at least to a certain extent, and to explain the reasons for the differences between that Reid and the one we all know and love.

_Plot Bunny 2:_ This is a supernatural story, involving mythology, and gods, and Reid. It originated as a totally different crossover story with Buffy, which I may yet write, went through several evolutions after I read l. marie benjamin's "Those Campbell Boys," (a crossover with "Supernatural" which I highly recommend if you like both shows), and finished here.

This morning, this mesh occurred to me, and I decided to try, once again, to get back into the swing of writing with this story. Hope you enjoy! :)

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><p>Some notes:<p>

This is a supernatural story. You can't tell from the first chapter, but the story will involve a lot of mythology and supernatural elements. If you've read "Those Campbell Boys," this is a little like that. A little. :)

Also, there is a "main" alternate universe (the one introduced in the first chapter), but there are several other AU's as well within this story; the concept of alternate universes plays a huge part in the plot.

Because alternate universes play a big part of the plot, please be sure to read the "Chapter ?" chapters, which are written in italics. They won't make a whole lot of sense at first, but hopefully they will eventually, and they're important to the plot. Especially read the headings – the universe numbers aren't terribly important, but the dates and the notations are, in order to understand what's going on.

You will, hopefully, eventually notice just a little bit of OOC-ness with the other main characters in the "main" AU. This is on purpose. I feel that our Reid, like all of the BAU members, has made a particular lasting positive influence on everybody else in the team, which would be absent in the "main" AU. Morgan and Hotch, in particular, should be a little harder and less forgiving than the Morgan and Hotch that we know.

Spoiler notes: This story contains major spoilers for 4x7 "Memoriam," as well as minor spoilers for, well, Seasons 1 and 2, as well as 3x16 "Elephant's Memory."

Rating note: This story is rated M, mainly for disturbing material in the first "?" chapter.


	2. Chapter 1

****Disclaimer: Everybody you recognize is... not mine.****

_**Chapter 1**_

_**Universe 38468925:**_

**April 7, 2007:**

SSA Derek Morgan ducked behind his desk, trying to protect himself from the sudden onslaught.

"I will get you!" his assailant cried, laughing. Analyst Garcia (the aforementioned assailant) then lobbied another round of donuts in his direction. Morgan was about to launch a counter-volley when he felt himself being hit from behind. He looked behind him to see SSA Emily Prentiss smirking at him.

"Help me!" he called, laughing, to the final agent in the bullpen. SSA Matt Carmichael grinned, before shaking his head and casually leaning his feet against his desk, not otherwise moving a muscle. Morgan scowled at him. "Fat lot of help you..."

"Guys," they heard SSA Jennifer Jareau's voice. Hearing the seriousness of it, they all instantly dropped the food fight and stood, practically at attention. She indicated the conference room. Without a word, they all sighed, grabbing their notebooks and following.

SSA Aaron Hotchner and SSA Jason Gideon were already there, studiously ignoring all the newcomers as they hastily removed the food on their clothes. They'd all thought that Gideon and Hotch were in a briefing with Strauss all afternoon.

Without preamble, JJ began the briefing.

"Four days ago, the Las Vegas police department found the body of 46-year-old William Reid was found in his home. There was a... contraption of some sort... which had held his body completely immobile while a small drill slowly drilled into his heart. The device had been placed facing Mr. Reid's computer desk, and this note," here she clicked a button, and a view of the letter appeared, "had been placed in the center of the desk, so Mr. Reid could see it."

She paused to give everybody a chance to read the letter. It read:

_Dear Dad,_

_It's nice to see you again. It's been 16 years since you left, after all. All this time I'd assumed you'd moved someplace really far away, or possibly that you'd even died, and you were just 10 miles away._

_I could have used a capable parent, you know. And Mom could have really used the help. Did you know that schizophrenia is a progressive illness, and that it gets steadily worse without professional care? It wasn't until I was 13 that I realized that. Until then, I'd assumed there was something I was doing wrong. And even then, I still had to wait five years to have her committed. Until then, it was just her and me._

_Did you know that an 11-year-old child can survive for three days locked in a closet without food or water? You probably didn't know that, did you? Because you weren't there._

_Mom was devastated when I had to have her committed. That was... really, really hard on us both. It hurt her so much, but I was so sure it was what she needed..._

_She's dead, by the way. If you care._

_Why didn't you come back? You could have, you know. Anytime. Maybe we would have been angry, but... we needed you! It would have been ok._

_You didn't even give me a chance to say goodbye. And the whole time, you were less than 10 miles away._

_I'm leaving you the way you left us, the way you left me. Alone, with only a letter for company. And, for what it's worth, I am very sorry for this._

_Goodbye, Dad. I loved you. I still do. But, in your words, "sometimes, a man just reaches a point where he must let the things that are killing him go."_

"Wow. That's... a lot of pain." It wasn't the most intelligent thing Morgan had ever said, but it was a powerful first impression.

"And some ambivalence, too." Gideon added, looking at the briefing folder. "Evidence of dried tears found on the back of the contraption, on the body, on the letter, on the carpet, _and_ on the door handle to the exit?"

JJ nodded. "Also, it should be noted that he apparently returned to the scene afterward, removed the victim from the device, and, well..." She clicked the button again and a photo of William Reid's body appeared, only it was on his bed, on his back, eyes closed, hands crossed across his chest. Blankets were arranged around him, as were pillows.

"A lot of remorse there." Morgan supplied.

"Or it could simply be that he never stopped loving his father. Although the difference between the two things is negligible." Hotch added.

"Could be male or female, from the wording," Carmichael corrected them, returning to the letter. "Has the LVPD done a check on any of William Reid's children?"

"Yes, and he has one child. A Spencer Reid," here she clicked the button again and a picture of a tall, thin man with brownish and curly hair and brown, intelligent eyes came on the screen. "The police chief actually knew Reid and his family, and supplied a few details. Apparently William Reid did leave his wife and son in 1990, when Spencer was 10. Two months later, he filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences. His ex-wife, Diana Reid, was a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic, and she was committed, by Spencer, in 1998 shortly after he came of legal age. She managed to commit suicide in the sanitarium four weeks ago.

"It should also be noted that, in addition to the tears, which are being DNA tested, Spencer Reid's fingerprints were also found all over the scene."

The team listened in growing confusion. Finally, Morgan asked the question on everybody's minds:

"It seems pretty clear-cut who the unsub is. Why are we being called in, again?"

JJ sighed. "Because they can't _find_ him." Everybody's mouths dropped open. She took a breath to explain. "Spencer Reid is a certified genius with an IQ of 187, who graduated high school at the age of 12. He's 26 years old now, and he has three doctorates, in mathematics, chemistry, and engineering. He's actually pretty renowned in those fields, particularly physics – he wrote several innovative papers on the subject of..." she took a moment to read from her notes... "'Measurement and control of transverse photonic degrees of freedom via parity sorting and spin-orbit interaction.'" Everybody frowned in confusion. "And, evidently, he just doesn't want to be found yet. And because he doesn't want to be found, the police... can't find him."

"Yet?" Gideon asked.

"He's not done. Last night, 31-year-old Alexa Marshall and 32-year-old Sam Davis were found back-to-back, naked, and chained to... another device, behind the football field of the old high school. This device appeared to be designed to beat the victims to death. No note this time, and the reason is unknown, although they did attend high school with Dr. Reid..."

Carmichael frowned. "Really? That's quite an age difference. I thought you said he was only 26."

"Again, he graduated at 12. Everyone else at the high school was, of course, normal high school age, so they were much older than he was. Anyway, even though there was no note, the motive in this case is unknown, and the postmortem behavior is different, the LVPD is still assuming it's Dr. Reid, given the complexity of the contraption. Also, evidence of dried tears were once again found, on the devices, and on the bodies. Like in William Reid's case, they're taking the samples to be DNA tested, but they're pretty sure it's Dr. Reid."

"A reasonable assumption." Hotch muttered, looking down at the file and frowning. "Everybody get ready to go, we'll finish this briefing in the air. Wheels up in 15. We don't have much time."

"We don't?" asked Garcia.

"In spite his intelligence, he hasn't made _any_ attempt to hide either the murder or his identity," Gideon explained. "Between that, and the contents of the letter, it looks like we're dealing with an Injustice Counter." Sighing, he continued, "Which means, either he's finished counting injustices and has committed suicide already..."

Morgan interrupted, "...unlikely; people don't become Injustice Counters just because _three_ people hurt them. It takes a lifetime of suffering to create them. Also, they rarely commit suicide _quietly_..."

Gideon finished his previous thought, "...or, he's just getting started."

… … … …

****Note: I used an existing dissertation title (cf Leary, Cody Collin, 1981- (University of Oregon, June , 2010)) for the name of Reid's physics papers. My apologies: I just couldn't come up with a good enough Reid-sounding title on my own.****


	3. Chapter ? Interlude 1

****Disclaimer: Everybody you recognize is... not mine.****

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><p><em><strong> Chapter ?: Gary Brendan Michaels<strong>_

_**Universes 1035689, 3566795, 9786248, 11357863, 14686553, 15796678...**_

… _**August 24, 1984 (Spencer is 4):**_

_Another man is coming to play chess. I've seen him around the park before but he's never asked to play with me before. I wonder how much of a challenge he will be. He's smiling, so he probably thinks I'm just a little kid who can't play real chess. I hate that. I'd better... what was the word Mom used? I'd better **disabuse** him of that fast, or this is going to be _real_ boring... wait... is it 'real,' or... what did Mom say? 'Really?' Yeah, that was it._

… _(two hours, and 6 games won later)_

_This is boring. This guy can't play. He's still grinning at me, though. Weird. Somebody _else_ come play with me!_

… _**October 2, 1984:**_

_Oh, it's this guy again. The grinning guy who can't play but still wants to play over, and over, and over... Well, maybe he's gotten better. Maybe._

… _(2 hours later)_

_Dad? DAD, where are you? Help me, Dad! It's dark in here! I don't know where I am! DAD! MOM! **DAD!**_

… _(1 hour later)_

_HELP ME! It hurts! It hurts, and this is... he says this is right, but he's wrong! I know he's wrong! What do I do? Dad? Mom? What do I do? OW! STOP! No no ..._

… _(2 hours later)_

_I can't breathe. He's too strong. His hands... it's getting dark, I'm scared. I can't breathe. Dad? Please help me?_

… …

_[The pain's gone. I can breathe, or... wait... I don't **need** to breathe? Why am I just lying there? Why can I see now? Why aren't I **in** my body? I don't understand.]_

_**[Welcome home, child. Your time in those universes is done. Do you remember now? You went there to learn what they are like. To understand them.]**_

_A flood of memories returns. Mom, reading to him. Dad, trying to get him to play. And before that, Mom nursing him, cooing. A feeling of being loved. A feeling that's tainted now._

_...And before that, darkness, and warmth, and a heartbeat. Being safe, and happy._

_...And before that, stars. Stars forming, stars dying, bits of rock revolving around them, and one in particular, in almost every manifestation of the universe... he was sent there to learn from them. Because "children must learn to understand the people who will be in their care."_

_**[What have you learned from being with them?]**_

_[They're bad. They complain when you're smarter, and they hurt you and the people who say they love you still let you be hurt. It HURT. And they weren't there!]_

_**[*sigh* Perhaps once you're joined by the rest of yourself...]**_

_[What do you mean?]_

_**[You didn't always die, child. There are other selves, in other manifestations, that did not die. Once they do, you will remember them as well, and learn.]**_

_[I don't understand.]_

_**[You will.]**_

… … … … …

_**Universe 9786248 (one of the Gary Brendan Michaels-death universes):**_

_**March 27, 1990**_

_I would have been 10 years old today. Mom is crying. She was so sad when I died that I've forgiven her for not saving me, and Dad too, even though he tried to leave her before I **made** him stay. But I've forgiven them, so I didn't let them die with the others._

_People are bad. People are bad, and they hurt each other and kids who didn't do anything wrong, and they shouldn't still be here so I made them go away. In this universe, at least. I picked this one to stay with, cause this was the one where Mom was nicest, but I couldn't be with the rest of the people, so I made them all go away. The elder says I still have a lot to learn, and I'll learn more when more of my manifestations die, but I already know everything I need to know. People are bad._

_It took a while to learn how to show myself to Mom and Dad. They're the only ones I can show myself to in any of the universes. The elder says it's because they're the only ones I was close to in any of the lives where I died when I was four. Like I **could** be close to any other people... they're all bad. I saw. I saw the way they treated each other._

_The elder is wrong. They're bad, and they shouldn't be here. That's why I made them all go away._

_Mom says it's wrong to leave her and Dad all alone. But they have everything they need, and they don't have to worry about any other people anymore. I tried to explain that to her. I wish she'd stop crying._


End file.
